Online Dating

We chatted online

We got on just fine

You invited me out

I accepted

I jumped on a train

Despite mild hurricane 

I arrived

Slightly flushed 

But collected 

I looked

Are you here?

Not immediately clear

The photo Id seen 

was quite faded

Then you waved 

And I knew 

There's a reason your keen

For your not

All the things you had stated

So where do I start

Your hair isn't black

Maybe blond 

(I'm polite, it is grey)

"Athletic and sporty,

A real outdoors type"

Must be hard 

With that gut in the way

Your profile said cheeky

You like to have fun 

"What's life 

if you can't have a laugh"

Well for funny

Read "droll"

For cheeky read "rude"

Will you just get your hand 

Off my ass! 

So I did what I must

Smiled and laughed (only just)

And I drank to drown out

Such a bore

I left after three

"Dear it's you, it's not me"

Online dating?

Not me anymore